Ichi ni Ai =-+>>>. My first Love....

whew!!! its already midnight and I can't sleep...
the usual..browsing the net...texting,,,, updating my ipod and I find myself reading my blogs hahahah!!!

August 09???Do i have to remember something from that date???OOHHHHHHH!! its when i moved from Cavite to Pasig city where I can be with my family...It's just that I have to finish highschool In Cavite City..

This place gave me distressing experience where you can see cute guys giving a hug and kiss to a gay...Most of pretty girls are with lesbians,,,,Funny but it's real!!
Then my gay friend told me that it's really normal for me to see those kind of actions in Pasig...
Well I just told him that ok then I have to tolerate myself that this is real...hehehe

Year 2005 I had a relationship in Pasig..well --was my classmate way back in Elementary...We've had relationship for 4 mos I think...That time Im working as a service crew in Zagu Pearl Shake...Then I met alvin , my neighbor who is a choreographer,,,He knew that Im also working as a choreographer from schools...Public, private and even International Schools!
That's why he wanted me to join to his dance troupe...
There, where I met his cute younger brother ,,,Arthur...His friends use to call him Jasper...
He is agreeable and caring to be with,,,He was also the 1st person who made me aware who really I am...Without him, maybe Im not like this and wont show the real me...He was my friend till September 12,2005...

September 13,2005_Midnight
After our pratice Jasper told me to sleep in their house since it's midnight and I can't enter the house because it was locked...After changing my clothes, I sat in the sofa with him..and told me not to be scared,because I had this feeling that there is a Ghost in their house,He said not to worry but he kept telling stories about their house...That time he looked at me, moved rapidly and hug me...He askd me why it seems that Im not interested in him...I told him that I didnt say that I didnt like him...It's just that Im frightened that he might laugh at me...It was so sweet that he kissed after he said thanks..

When I woke up I found my self leaned into his arms,,,He was the first man I slept with...The first man who hugged me and kissed me...He was 21 and Im 16 that time but I hold this information in my heart that Im irrevocably in love with him...

We always pratice and did normal things like before...
Watching Tv playing our song for the dance contest....October 1st came in and I invited him to the 7th bday party of my nephew...We organized the party and I became the host..The night after it we rest but when Im sleeping I know somethings going on in my lips..I opened my eyes and saw Jasper deeply kissing me...and he took my hand on his,,,He asked me if it'll be ok and we did something in first time that I know I wont forget....
We came back to Pasig after the day of my nephew's bday..

After it he became cold and not even talk to me that much,,,
I know he was also avoiding me that time that I dont know why,,,
November 8, I hold my thoughts that this will be my last day seeing him because it was the day of the dance contest..We won as 1st runner up...After all, I never came into their home again...

For 3 years we never talked....I always see him with 'other' people, sometimes it's a gay but most of the time were girls..That time I send him message in friendster,,,I asked him if he was still mad at me even though I dont know the real reason why he became mad at me...He did send a repsonse after a month that I send it ..He said that he is not mad at all and lookin forward to talk to me in person..He also left his no. so we can send a message...
We talked and he came into my house.. we did say thanks to each other

gave an apology to each other and we moved on..time can really heal wounds..Because we never talked about what happened in the past we just look into the present of come what may..
But he never became my bf at all...Even for the second time..we just do some sweet things that I still remeber when Im with him...



I learned alot from him...On how I can just be myself and to achieve some unspecified item that time can only give...and that is love,,,

Well if time would allow him to see my blogs about him...This is my way of saying thank you for being part of my life...

He maybe not the person I dreamed of..He may not be that Idealistic and we just ended for nothing...But I appreciate those times that when Im with him...The time that I would really say that I had my first love....

=) sleepwell gossipgee.....xoxo