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whew!!! its already midnight and I can't sleep...
the usual..browsing the net...texting,,,, updating my ipod and I find myself reading my blogs hahahah!!!
August 09???Do i have to remember something from that date???OOHHHHHHH!! its when i moved from Cavite to Pasig city where I can be with my family...It's just that I have to finish highschool In Cavite City..
This place gave me distressing experience where you can see cute guys giving a hug and kiss to a gay...Most of pretty girls are with lesbians,,,,Funny but it's real!!
Then my gay friend told me that it's really normal for me to see those kind of actions in Pasig...
Well I just told him that ok then I have to tolerate myself that this is real...hehehe
Year 2005 I had a relationship in Pasig..well --was my classmate way back in Elementary...We've had relationship for 4 mos I think...That time Im working as a service crew in Zagu Pearl Shake...Then I met alvin , my neighbor who is a choreographer,,,He knew that Im also working as a choreographer from schools...Public, private and even International Schools!
That's why he wanted me to join to his dance troupe...
There, where I met his cute younger brother ,,,Arthur...His friends use to call him Jasper...
He is agreeable and caring to be with,,,He was also the 1st person who made me aware who really I am...Without him, maybe Im not like this and wont show the real me...He was my friend till September 12,2005...
September 13,2005_Midnight
After our pratice Jasper told me to sleep in their house since it's midnight and I can't enter the house because it was locked...After changing my clothes, I sat in the sofa with him..and told me not to be scared,because I had this feeling that there is a Ghost in their house,He said not to worry but he kept telling stories about their house...That time he looked at me, moved rapidly and hug me...He askd me why it seems that Im not interested in him...I told him that I didnt say that I didnt like him...It's just that Im frightened that he might laugh at me...It was so sweet that he kissed after he said thanks..
When I woke up I found my self leaned into his arms,,,He was the first man I slept with...The first man who hugged me and kissed me...He was 21 and Im 16 that time but I hold this information in my heart that Im irrevocably in love with him...
We always pratice and did normal things like before...
Watching Tv playing our song for the dance contest....October 1st came in and I invited him to the 7th bday party of my nephew...We organized the party and I became the host..The night after it we rest but when Im sleeping I know somethings going on in my lips..I opened my eyes and saw Jasper deeply kissing me...and he took my hand on his,,,He asked me if it'll be ok and we did something in first time that I know I wont forget....
We came back to Pasig after the day of my nephew's bday..
After it he became cold and not even talk to me that much,,,
I know he was also avoiding me that time that I dont know why,,,
November 8, I hold my thoughts that this will be my last day seeing him because it was the day of the dance contest..We won as 1st runner up...After all, I never came into their home again...
For 3 years we never talked....I always see him with 'other' people, sometimes it's a gay but most of the time were girls..That time I send him message in friendster,,,I asked him if he was still mad at me even though I dont know the real reason why he became mad at me...He did send a repsonse after a month that I send it ..He said that he is not mad at all and lookin forward to talk to me in person..He also left his no. so we can send a message...
We talked and he came into my house.. we did say thanks to each other
gave an apology to each other and we moved on..time can really heal wounds..Because we never talked about what happened in the past we just look into the present of come what may..
But he never became my bf at all...Even for the second time..we just do some sweet things that I still remeber when Im with him...
I learned alot from him...On how I can just be myself and to achieve some unspecified item that time can only give...and that is love,,,
Well if time would allow him to see my blogs about him...This is my way of saying thank you for being part of my life...
He maybe not the person I dreamed of..He may not be that Idealistic and we just ended for nothing...But I appreciate those times that when Im with him...The time that I would really say that I had my first love....
=) sleepwell gossipgee.....xoxo
When we dont have anything to do...We watch tv or just do a movie marathon..Most people listen to music
and if we have internet in the house, we surf the net sometimes ...
I actually dont believe when it comes to "netLove"
why???because You are just seeing a person through cam, photos and links you can send to get a person attached with you ...but you'll never see the real him/her...
My favorite sites are facebook, friendster, yahoo messenger, BLOGSPOT of course!lol
and my favorite chatroom site- camfrog where you can see a person live without requesting an access... I met alot of people in here asking me to get naked...some just wanted to have pure chat..and maybe 2% of them wanted to have someone to love..and be love...
Till i browse some live cams and someone send me a message in the chatroom
saying
" i love rain please add me!!please"
I view his cam and I was shock not because he was naked its because he is so handsome...i added him for him to be able to send me private messages..
Until we decided to get out of the room and speak with live cams on private...
Then he asked me if Im filipino I said yes
Then he spoke tagalog words
Again I was shocked and never realized that im also talking to a filipino,,
we always chat and he always tell that he really likes me alot..
He knows who I am and the real me...because I cannot pretend when Im in front of him....
We kiss in front of cams...sending different emoticons...We did alot of things.. We also paint in yahoo...he is good in sketching,,,,and what else??he is also a guitarist,...we were like stupid because when im giving a hug to my spongebob pill
ow what he always do is he also hug his
guitar like we are giving a hug to each other,,,
We did alot of things.. but not to get naked...lol
he is really a gentleman,,,
But its been a week since we havent chat ,,,, I dont know where he is right now....Maybe he found another person who can really love him in real ... not just in cam..If only he is in the Philippines but he is too far..He live in Las Vegas...
Why is it always happening that whenever someone appreciates you ,, that is the person who can never be yours...because he is too far away,,im still hoping that we can chat,,, I dont have any idea where he is right now....He never send me emails....
Maybe he's busy,,, Maybe he is with someone.... Maybe he doesnt like me at all.,..
Maybe the things that I believed before can also be a factor that he was really pretending...That he never appreciated me ....
I just looked into my mirror saying that im really stupid to get attached with him....
What this is Im going through...tonight..
If im not in love with you...
=(
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
it didnt happen last night...lol hehehehe its just that I entitled this as "last night"because this is our favorite song....M3 and My ex "dada"
So Sad...
I just remember the time on how I met this guy..He was introduced from a party with my co trainee in a call center,,,
They invited me into a house party because it is the bday of her spouse...Then I met Mico....He is cute,,,for me he is.... hehehe But we actually didnt talk that time until I got drunk and went to restroom not to notice that I was sleeping in about 30 minutes like OMG!!!
Until Mico helped me to get in the sofa bed and he continue drinking but he let me sleep lying my head on his lap..He is actually sweet and kept on touching my hair...After drinking session he asked his cousin if he can sleep with me..Then his cousin agreed,,,that I didnt ever imagine that something happened between us..He also asked for my no.
It didnt happen once...I always go to his condo unit....Then we do everything we wanted to do and he really make me feel so special,,,
He always text me that I never realize that Im at work and cellphones are not allowed...hahaha One thing I know I was in love with him that time...We are happy whenever we're together,, We've been "mama N dada" for three months & he met my Mother because he really wanted to introduce himself...After school maybe twice a week if i still remember he always come to our house and we go to his condo...Until the third month came by.. I didnt really know that he has gf,,,,I was not aware the time we 1st met...His cousin texted me and said that I have to avoid Mico...because he is not originally mine...My heart ache and tried texting Mico..His gf texted me and begging to stop texting her bf... I send her a message and said>>>" Im so sorry I was not aware of everything...If only I knew it then of course I have avoided him that time...I do have younger sisters and I dont want karma...Im really very sorry but tell Mico that I really wanted to thank him for everything...Im really very sorry,,,,"Those photos are remaining photos that I cannot delete... i really missed him but I have to end everything we started.. He never texted me...Im not hoping that we can be together _AGAIN_ because I knew he'll be happy with his gf...I might be stupid to still think of him not owing the fact that Im also wondering if he is thinking of me now,,,Moving forward...As my friends told me....I really have to move on...And Im trying...
do you know this old gay??
HE ?SHE??
It was actually my teammate way back January..
HE is fun to be with but you'll be irritated in the end,,, hahaha why????
ill Give you examples....
1. Sometimes when a cute guy pass by he will introduce you as if you were really interested with the Guy.
2. He will introduce you to everyone and make fun of you in the end...
3. My team captain was irritated with him because he had alot of overbreaks ad ACW's ( after call work)
4.There was a time that he was interviewed because of his ACW's and he said that he was tracking the OT of our team giving the impression that he has to go on ACW just because of our OT???
5. And how can he just join the purple hunt!!!! Im not insecure however he ruined one of my favorite color!!!!
6.Guys you have to be careful with him because we have an agent that stalked until he went to the condo unit of the guy....It was funny because the guard ask him to stay away from the guy he stalked with....hahahaha
funny right???
This actually a sad story......
a sad story about two bisexual guys in txu energy....
His name is Leo and he was a new trainee from batch 54a.... This new trainee fell in love with a bisexual guy named Gemini..Gemini is fun to be with,,,He is one of the cutest 'bi' I Saw from TXU.....Because other's are dirty looking like Betty la fea...hahahahaha
Let's go back ....They've been together for a couple of months..... Most of the time Leo went to the house of Gemini and so on..
the way LEo express his feelings for Gemini it really shows that he is in love with Gemini...As I saw both of them hanging around...Gemini dont really appreciate LEo that much....
LOve is in the air until someone just texted and said
"Leo,I no longer feel that Im important ...I dont feel that you love me anymore...This would be our last monthsary because im breaking up with you....im sorry but you were one of those people who made me happy"
YYyyyyyOOOOooooouuuuuuuccccccchhHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How could You just break up with someone after the special day which is their monthsary right???
and having the impression that Leo was unfair but to compare efforts,Gemini was the one who is really unfair...???? that's bullshit...
And brreaking up with someone without giving the main idea why he broke up with Leo???So idiotic...
Lesson Learned ,,,,,it's not bad to be fall in love with someone,,,,but come on try to give yourself at least 25% because if you dont love yourself ....you dont really love at all... right???
We talked and he came into my house.. we did say thanks to each other
